It’s OK to Cry

Stream of consciousness

A Mountain Stream by JoAnne Silvia

 

My old career, my new career, social media,

Church committees, volunteer work,

Arranging words on a page, Youtube, TV,

Laundry, yard work,

And my father’s estate

Have all kept me busy,

Kept me from my feelings.

Especially the ones I’d rather not feel.

I should be happy.

I am happy most of the time.

My life is good.

I’m so thankful. Thankful beyond words!

But those damn feelings,

The ones I’d rather not feel

Squeeze their way out of the closet

And sit in the corner,

Waiting for me to drop my guard.

Like the day I go to yoga class

for the first time in weeks

and after I get home,

A wave of sadness

Grabs me around the chest and tries to pull me down.

I resist at first.

I don’t want to care.

After all, I am an introvert.

I don’t really need people

hangin around all the time.

I sure as hell don’t want to be needy!

I can take care of myself,

right?

Maybe it’s just hormones.

But the distance weighs in.

I miss my daddy.

And Mom.

And my two sisters.

And my dog, Jesse.

They are all D E A D.

I miss my daughter, who is alive

For which I am thankful.

I miss my son and his children,

Yes, I have many blessings.

I’m thankful already!

But the distance….

The wave wells up again, and I let it pull me down into my bed,

Let the sadness flood into me.

My daddy is gone.

God holds me while I cry

And tells me it’s okay to feel this sadness.

I’m supposed to feel this sadness.

I’m allowed to feel whatever comes.

I’m allowed to cry sometimes

Even when my life is happy.

 

Animal Rights Photography

Sometimes I’d rather please animals than people. It’s easier and animals are so grateful. I’m reminded of this quote: “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”—Malcolm S. Forbes. http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/10/28/judge-character/

ALK3R

Animal Rights Photography: Sammantha Fisher Captures Amazing Animal Portraits

Sammantha Fisher is a superb talented self-taught photographer, traveler and lifelong animal lover currently based in Andover, New Jersey, USA.

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Confidence

Confidence

Or, will I like them?

Of course we want people to like us. We are designed for community. But everyone is not going to like us. And everyone is not going to be good for us.

I’m thankful for my friends, for their love and support, for being able to share tears and laughter. But I know I can be okay alone, because we are never really alone. There’s always God, or whatever you want to call that divine power who loves us no matter what. And there are dogs, those divinely created experts in unconditional love.

Then there are cats. Cats have their own special kind of confidence. Some of them are experts.

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One-liner Wednesday is brought to us by Linda G. Hill. Check out more great one-liner’s over at her blog: https://lindaghill.com/2017/04/19/one-liner-wednesday-danger/

The rules for One-liner Wednesday, which I sometimes follow are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

My First Real Panic Attack at Age 61

panic stress (2)

I needed to read Jana Greene’s post about grace and weakness.

I don’t like to feel weak. I’ve spent all these years trying to be strong and building my skills. So, why, at age 61, with all my training and experience, did i have my first real live panic attack?

I’ve heard plenty of people talk about panic attacks and how bad they can be. I’ve secretly wondered, Do people really need to go to the emergency room? Does it really feel like a heart attack? Are you really being attacked? Can’t we call it something else, something less invasive? Can’t you just take some deep breaths and calm down?

Now I know. Now, I’m humbled.

If it hadn’t been for my years of meditation and breathing practice and my supportive, former EMT husband watching me closely, I might have gone to the emergency room. My chest hurt worse than ever before, and it was hard to breathe. Years ago, I’d gone to the urgent care place with chest pain shortly after my first husband left. It turned out to be stress and acid reflux, but I don’t remember that being as intense as the pain I felt during my first real panic attack couple months ago.

Chest pain is nothing to guess about. When in doubt, get medical attention.

The first good news is, that I know what triggered it. I felt challenged, then I felt cornered and I was hungry.  Since I’m hypoglycemic, I can get shaky and irritable when I’m hungry. It’s best not to challenge me when I’m hungry. Fortunately, I can take steps to minimize exposure to these triggers. I can maintain my boundaries and use the “broken record technique” by simply repeating, “this is not a good time to talk about this.” If I’m able, I’ll offer an alternative time, but simply repeating my boundary is enough.

I’ve been trying not to feel embarrassed about feeling weak, and leaning more toward feeling humbled and gifted – the other good news – explained in Jana’s post . I’m reminded that I’m never going to have it all together, because I’m human. Some weakness will always pop up to humble me and lead me to God’s grace.

 

Forewarning Signs That You Are Dating An Over-possessive And An Insecure Psycho

Forewarning Signs That You Are Dating An Over-possessive And An Insecure Psycho

This re-blog contains a bit of language some might find offensive, but there are way more gems of wisdom making this post well worth reading!

The Little Mermaid

N.B. The article has been written assuming the male is the over-possessive one. However, it can be either way.

Alright guys! Know that feel of getting super excited about walking in a zoo where you encounter a myriad of wild and uncivilised creatures? Well that’s exactly how it feels when you enter the vast dating world, the sole difference being that in the latter case, the excitement lasts just for one hundredth of a nanosecond. Yeah! Joking aside, I’ve very recently come out of a toxic, long distance relationship with an edgy, mentally deranged, over-possessive boyfriend. It was a highly unpleasant experience. By sharing the traumatic ordeal with you on this platform, I want you to grow, to learn and most importantly to discern. I try to build others up because I know what it’s like to be torn down.

Now, let’s get back to the main issue-What is over-possessiveness…

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