If She Had Lived

Mary Kaye and Lobo

Mary Kaye and Lobo, 1973


If you were here,

You’d tell me to lighten up.

Are you telling me that now?

You were the free spirit,

the wild child with a big heart.

I wish I’d gotten to watch you grow up.

But the drunk driver took your life

all those years ago

On your 16th birthday.

Just for a moment or two,

I allow myself to feel the anger

buried all those years ago,

I breathe through the sadness underneath

so it wont grab me around the throat.

I wish we’d gotten further

beyond the sibling rivalry

To become friends.

You’d joke with my daughter

and tell her secrets

about her responsible mother

being a wild child too,

once upon a time.

What are you up to now?

Have you seen Mom,

And Lobo?

Give them a hug for me.

Maybe I’ll lighten up a little

To honor you on your birthday.

I’ll imagine you and Lobo

running through a meadow of yellow flowers

And Mom flying above your heads,