Enjoying A Relationship With Myself

Enjoying A Relationship With Myself

Re-blogging this healthy dose of affirmation from the Diary of a Recovering Codependent.

Diary of a Recovering Codependent

Just rambling on today…

“Codependency underlies all addictions. The core symptom of “dependency” manifests as reliance on a person, substance, or process (i.e., activity, such as gambling or sex addiction). Instead of having a healthy relationship with yourself, you make something or someone else more important. Over time, your thoughts, feelings, and actions revolve around that other person, activity, or substance, and you increasingly abandon your relationship with
yourself.”

Ah, a relationship with myself…If I had only understood that from the beginning, I wonder how different my life would be today. Not that I wish my life was different because I love my life today and who I have become. It took a lot of hard work, lots of pain and many, many changes to become the person I am today and it was worth every bit of it.

It was difficult to figure out how I was supposed to have a relationship with myself, especially since I really didn’t like myself, but here…

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Butterfly Mermaid

I shared this art as a work in progress a while back. Here she is ready to go to my Grand daughter!

Anything is Possible!

Butterfly mermaid close up

I was working on this butterfly mermaid to sell, but by the time she was halfway finished, I knew I had to give her to my grand daughter who just turned 6. My husband is going to cut out more butterfly shapes for me to paint – more butterflies, butterfly mermaids, butterfly angels….so many possibilities!

I can’t share the details about why my grand daughter now lives 5 hours away instead of 12 hours away. But I will tell you that it is because God answers prayers and reaffirms that anything is possible!  I’m leaving tomorrow to spend a few days with her, and I can hardly wait!

So if I’m slow to respond here on WordPress, you’ll know why. 🙂

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Escape of the Introverts

Neon escape from pixabay

On the Sunday before labor day, I went out on a boat with a group of 8 people who I love or at least like.  The boat ride was great with clear skies, perfect weather, and an almost full moon coming up soon. For dinner, we docked at a very busy restaurant where lots of other people had the same idea. The food was average at best, but that I can deal with. The noise level was another thing. I find it hard to concentrate on conversations when there are so many other conversations going on, and eating under these tense conditions often gives me indigestion. So after I’d finished eating, and I’d had enough of straining to hear the person next to me, I said, “I need to go outside and look at the moon.”

Three other people immediately followed me out to the dock.

The four of us stood there enjoying the relief of relative quiet. Then, my dear friend commented:

“The introverts got out first.”

“Yes!” I responded raising my fist in the air.

Freedom!

I was the leader of the introverts that night.

 

boat

 

Lessons in Self-Love

Beautiful words of wisdom from Charlie Chaplin and Trini’s Paths of the Spirit.

The Paths of the Spirit

Lessons in Self-Love
By: Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself
I found that anguish and emotional suffering
Are warning signs that I was living
Against my own truth.
Today, I know this is authenticity.

As I began to love myself
I understood that I am always in the right place
At the right time and everything happens
Exactly at the right moment,
So I can be calm.
Today, I know this is self-confidence.

As I began to love myself
I stopped longing for a different life,
And I could see that everything around me
Was inviting me to develop.
Today, I know this is maturity.

As I began to love myself
I stopped filling every minute
And designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy;
Things that I love to do, and that make my heart cheer,
In my…

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Boundary Setting is Getting Easier!

Iron fence

I said, no, to three requests last week!

Two were related to things I’d already been working on or had agree to, and more was asked of me. The more that was asked felt uncomfortable. One project was starting to eat up too much of my time, and the other request would have made an already emotionally draining task way more difficult. So, I said no. I briefly explained my reasons and respectfully said, no.

The third request no was to a chain message on Facebook. It said I “had to” forward the message to 15 people and that I was “on the clock.” It contained language aimed at producing guilt if I did not comply. With as much love as I could muster, I responded that I felt uncomfortable and pressured by the language. When someone starts to pressure me, it’s time to back off. I could have just ignored it, but it was the second chain message I’d gotten that week.

This boundary setting was not comfortable, but I didn’t agonize like I would have in the past. My decisions came naturally.  Maybe, at the age of 61, I’m finally starting to get this boundary thing down.

Boundary Setting for this Busy Bee

bubble-bee-e1503110500249.jpg

I tend to be one of those women who do too much. Since I retired from my 30 year career, I find myself exploring new activities that keep me busy. Too busy. Why do I do that? Maybe I just have so many different interests. Someone told me I’m a Renaissance Woman. I like the sound of that, but I want to make time for the things that are most important to me and I can’t do everything.

I went to a couple of political meetings and a local tree alliance. Both worthy causes, but what about my art which I have been neglecting? Okay, so I published my book and now I need to market it, but my painting muse is jealous!

butterfly mermaid in progress

She’s been waiting in the wings, saying Hey! What about me?

I’m going to work on this by Saturday!

Almost two weeks ago, I started volunteering at a nearby elementary school helping first graders with reading and enjoyed that, but three days later I came down with a head cold that is still with me, teaching me humility after saying, “I never get sick.” It didn’t help that I wasn’t getting enough sleep, staying up late on the computer…

One good thing I did a few months ago was to get back into yoga classes. It was in yoga class that I learned the chant: From now on, I send you only love.  I said it to myself in the mirror. It felt good, especially after I stuck out my tongue and laughed with myself.  I want to keep doing yoga once a week. Plus, I’m getting back into walking and will keep swimming when the waves aren’t too rough.

But I have to be more careful about taking on new things. So, I’m going to say this again: I’m not going to take on anything new.  No new projects until the following have happened:

1.  I’ve satisfied my painting muse (and finished my butterfly mermaid)

2. September is passed.

I’m helping a friend organize an event that takes place in September which is also the month I plan to visit my son and son and granddaughter. in the mountains. I’m so excited and have to stay well for that trip which means I need to get off the computer by midnight.

If anyone asks me to do anything new, my answer will be,

“Let me think about it and get back to you.”

Even if I really want to do it, I’m going to wait before I respond, to give myself time to evaluate.

With writing, I sit a lot which has caused some problems for me. So I don’t want to add any activities that are mostly sitting. If I take on anything new, after September, it has to be something healthy, fun, and physically active that gets me off my butt!

Like this:

girl swimming thumbs up

Photo from Pixabay