The Rebound from Hell

I walked carefully into the valley at first.

Then I felt the high of the buck’s smooth touch.

So, I danced with the buck in the valley of shadow

Ignoring the darkness behind his laughter.

Then the darkness came out of hiding

And a voice told me to run,

But I lingered a while

Forgetting my worth

Til the darkness blew me away.

At first I prayed to the light

that the buck would outrun his shadow

Or at least at least that his light would grow bright enough

To fill up his heart with peace.

But mostly I prayed for the wisdom

To keep myself out of darkness

Ignoring the memories of a buck’s smooth touch

So my light can outshine my shadow.

I wrote this many years ago at the end of the year long rebound from hell. About a month after it was over for good, I felt like I was waking up from a nightmare. I couldn’t believe I had allowed myself to be swallowed so deeply into co-dependence.

But, in time, I learned to love myself again. I remembered my worth. I knew I didn’t need to settle for someone who added so much stress to my life.

I knew God loved me deeply and profoundly and that God had a plan.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11