I walked carefully into the valley at first.
Then I felt the high of the buck’s smooth touch.
So, I danced with the buck in the valley of shadow
Ignoring the darkness behind his laughter.
Then the darkness came out of hiding
And a voice told me to run,
But I lingered a while
Forgetting my worth
Til the darkness blew me away.
At first I prayed to the light
that the buck would outrun his shadow
Or at least at least that his light would grow bright enough
To fill up his heart with peace.
But mostly I prayed for the wisdom
To keep myself out of darkness
Ignoring the memories of a buck’s smooth touch
So my light can outshine my shadow.
I wrote this many years ago at the end of the year long rebound from hell. About a month after it was over for good, I felt like I was waking up from a nightmare. I couldn’t believe I had allowed myself to be swallowed so deeply into co-dependence.
But, in time, I learned to love myself again. I remembered my worth. I knew I didn’t need to settle for someone who added so much stress to my life.
I knew God loved me deeply and profoundly and that God had a plan.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Loving Me, Too 
I can feel your pain here. Coming out of the hellhole is almost like a second lease of life right? I have a post I had written during a bad time two years back. Still sitting in my drafts. I almost dread visiting it and seeing the darkness that surrounded my head again.
I can understand not wanting to go back there. If you do, recognize how you got out of it and how you are better now. But if you don’t want to go back there, don’t. I still have trouble believing I was ever in that relationship. Your comment on having a second lease on life helps. Thank you!
Beautiful, the words and the pictures. Your light shines brightly.
Thank you. It’s important the the light shine through this old darkness, so I’m glad you see it!
Beautiful poem, positive reflection and I love that lady photo. Pain is such a great teacher…if only we could learn the lessons with out all the hurt.
Thank you! Yes, if only…..Pain taught me this one well. I’m glad I was still able to open up to love again and that we can see the beauty after the pain.